You know the saying: “right person, wrong time”, right? Some people hear it and say “I agree, 100%” and some people hear it a call BS, because “if the person was right for you, the time wouldn’t matter.” That might be true to some extent, but we all live and experience life differently, and with that, the things we go through on a daily basis may cause some hindrance to that vision. More times than not, we put expectations on ourselves, and want to be certain places at certain times, and if we fail to achieve that, we feel unaccomplished. But it is important to understand that not everyone’s clock is the same. You could literally meet your biggest blessing at the “wrong time” in your life. To me, it's all about identifying that at some point, and then, taking action. Let's discuss this a little more.
Now, I am a firm believer in that you meet the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life between the ages of 18 and 25. A lot of people may not agree with me, but it's probably because they haven't thought it out. The reason being is that during those ages, or for that matter, that time in your life, you’re usually in a space of preparing for your future, in every aspect. Whether it’s finishing school, acquiring your dream job or achieving your financial goals and more. That is all synonymous with the people you have around you. Now when I say “meet the person”, I mean that in the most literal sense possible. I don’t necessarily mean that you and that person are in an intimate relationship within that 7-year period, but I do believe that they reveal themselves to you, somehow. But what if the time isn’t right? What if when you meet this person, you’re in a relationship with the person you thought was your "forever thing", leading you to put that person in the friend zone for an extended period of time? Or what if you just weren't ready to be in a relationship due to some internal issues you were having? So many different variables come into play, but follow along with me.
I know this one couple, that I, personally, truly admire, that has an amazing story behind them (to me). Sparing any true details, they met each other back in college, and mildly dated for an extended period of time, but due to some unfortunate circumstances, they separated. They were separated for 7 years before ultimately meeting each other again, in different spots in their lives, and now, they're engaged to be married. Both of them, as happy as they are, will honestly tell you that when they met each other back in college, there was no way that they could've sustained a healthy relationship at the time. Both of these individuals both saw things a bit differently at the exact time, although their relationship was functioning to a point, their missions were not the same. I know that science tells us that “women mature faster than men”, and although I might argue that sentiment, in this particular case, it might’ve been the truth (no shade). There was clearly a disconnect that disallowed two people who loved each other to actually love each other... Until now. Right person, wrong time?
But some people feel that “right person, wrong time” is an excuse, and of course, I’m completely understanding of that. I was speaking to a friend of mine and she expressed that certain people just like to have people close around, just so they’re still present in their life, but since it’s the “wrong time” for them, there’s no pressure for them to commit. Should the right person be able to persevere through any obstacle? And if not, are they really “right” for you? I believe it’s all subjective to the situation, but there’s no need to force an uncomfortable situation. The idea of the “wrong time” could possibly be all mental and all opinion. If you take the chance during the “wrong time”, it has zero chance of success, right? But I can say that I’ve seen people flourish through those times which made me think if that “wrong time” was a result of self-doubt. Simply telling yourself you can’t do something because of fear and not inability.
How you spend your time during these times is super important, if you ask me. If you’re using your time wisely; to correct your detrimental flaws and improve your compatibility with others, then you’re building up a healthier you. People tend to believe health is only physical or mental, but emotional health is just as important. For analogous purposes, think about a rookie in the NBA for a second. He’s super talented and definitely worthy of being in the NBA, but he’s young and inexperienced, and the rigors of this new life become overwhelming from time to time. Once the season ends, if he doesn’t use that offseason time to analyze his wrongs and improve where he struggled, he’ll come back for his second season in a similar state as he was in his rookie year. With that, it just makes sense to use any off time to become better and not as an excuse to waste time.
I say all of that to say this: Meeting the right person at the wrong time is definitely one of those unfortunate things that we all may have to deal with in life. If everything does happen for a reason, then, that special person presented themselves in your life as light that you needed. If life so happens to bring you two back together, take advantage of it. Life isn’t a fairytale; it’s never what you want it to be, but it will forever be what you make of it. Live in the moment and enjoy them. We’re not all on the same type of time, but even a broken clock ends up correct at some point.
— The Multi-Talented Gentleman